Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?

A: Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

Q: What do engineers use for birth control?

A: Their personalities.

Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?

A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?

A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the wrong way.

Q: What is the difference between an Engineer and a toilet?

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

Whats the difference between a used car salesman and software salesmen?

The used car salesman knows when he's lying.

Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective?

A: Sherlock Ohms

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?"

The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."

Q: What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicist?

A: Let me atom.

Q: Where does bad light end up?

A: In a prism.

Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?

A: From your backside, I thought you were repulsive. However, after seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.